Anybody want to help me with a question about god?

all my life, ive labeled myself as agnostic or atheist, but recently i started going to church because i felt like something was missing in my life. I want to discover the love of god and jesus, i want to know that i have that unconditional love, i want that faith that everything is meant to happen, and i want some direction in my life. However, i find it really hard to believe the stories of the bible and that mary was a virgin and gave birth to the son of god. Ive prayed over and over for the love of god to fill my heart and for him to forgive me and take me under his wing and guide me, but i still feel alone. someone told me that the denial of god is an unforgivable sin, am i being shunned because i denied him? what can help me be a true believer?